This blog is dedicated to my mother.

She is the funniest person I know and few people have made me laugh harder or for longer.

In her honour...

I am the Praising Armadillo

Btw, please feel free to rate the quotes on a scale of 1-5

Monday 4 February 2013

Wednesday 16 January 2013

Wednesday 9 January 2013

Mum's FB Post of the Week


Mum's quote of the day

Mum: It's three stops with the tramp.

Me: With the what?

Mum: The tramp.

Me: No mum.

Mum: No? How do you say it then?

Me: Tram.

Mum: Oh, tram. Like pram. Pram. Tram. Pram. Tram...

Tuesday 20 November 2012

Sunday 4 November 2012

Mum's quote of the day

Mum: She had some icons on her mental piece.

Me: You mean mantelpiece?

Mum: Yeah, her man piece.

Wednesday 17 October 2012

TA-ing quote of the day

New series - my GCSE students.

Upon finding out my heritage:
"Oh, that's why you're that colour. You're dark white."

Monday 10 September 2012

Mum's quote of the day

"The police officer was hitting him with one of those balaclavas."

Sunday 2 September 2012

Monday 20 August 2012

Thursday 19 July 2012

Sunday 15 July 2012

Mum's Dictionary Corner



Chest Tits

Noun ~ Male nipples, can include the general nippular area.
E.g. Christian's chest tits glistened in the moonlight.
For real world examples of use, see here.

Mum's quote of the day

"I haven't even started finishing yet..."

Monday 9 July 2012

Saturday 7 July 2012

Thursday 5 July 2012

Mum's quote of the day

"She won't fall out of the window. She'll be fine. Cats bounce"


I doubt she'll bounce out of traffic...

Monday 2 July 2012

Mum's story of the day

"It was a real man. It wasn't Jesus and guess what he bibed me up. There was a car in front of me but it wasn't moving. And I went over to him in the sports car and said 'What do you want?' and he said 'You're very pretty' so I said 'So are you' and walked off.."

Mum's other quote of the day

"If knives could kill!"